axel/roxas; AIM log. incomplete

[watchthesunsets.livejournal.com]

Who: Axel [acrotism] and Roxas [watchthesunsets]
Where: Their Latimir apartment.
When: After burning down the warehouse, when Axel wakes up. (in other words, backdated by about two weeks.)
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: What happens after you see your best friend die in a vision, you walk out on him, and then burn down a warehouse? Axel's about to find out.
the log:

It had been far, far too long a day for Roxas's liking. So many disasters had happened-- all starting with those damn visions. The apartment had an eerie silence about it now, as though it could tell that all of its occupants were mentally and physically tired. Or in at least two cases, broken. It still made his eyes sting to think about his own death and Axel's reaction to it, but for now, he'd pushed it aside. He had to. Because the most important thing to him now was looking after his best friend, who'd gone ahead and completely worn himself out. By torching a warehouse, no less, but he found he couldn't be at all angry with him. After all, if he'd seen a vision of Axel dying, how would he have reacted? Probably pretty much the same. Definitely not favourably, no matter what.

And no matter how exhausted he was, how much his body ached, how sore his throat was... he couldn't bring himself to curl up on that bed and sleep too, just like Axel was. So Roxas was sitting, as he had been for the past few hours, right at the edge of the bed-- and the mop of red hair in his lap indicated just where the room's other occupant was. Supposedly sleeping like a baby, and hopefully comfortable enough the way he was sprawled across the bed, completely covered in blankets courtesy of Sora. All Roxas had been doing for the past few hours was sit with him and stroke his hair, and that was what he intended to keep doing until he finally awoke.

But he was in no hurry. For many reasons, he needed all the rest he could get.


As exhausted as he was - both physically and mentally - Axel couldn't sleep. For hours now he'd had his eyes closed, trying to just shut everything out, but to no avail. The images just kept flashing red behind his eyelids and no matter what he did, he couldn't get them to stop. Eventually, after about an hour or so, he'd stopped trying to resist, and just let the morbid images taunt him, making his stomach twist and turn and his mouth go dry. In his head, he could hear Roxas' words from earlier echoing, replaying over and over again in one continuous loop.

You're an asshole... I guess I'll just die earlier than I thought... You're an asshole...

His stomach twisted and his throat closed and an overwhelming feeling of nausea crashed through him. He shifted, swallowing the feeling down with a shaky exhale, and closed his eyes a little tighter. The longer he laid here awake, the worse it got. The guilt in his chest grew heavier and heavier and Roxas' voice only got louder and louder in his head and the small glimpses from his vision became more and more detailed, and he could do nothing to stop it. All he could do was try to ignore it, and he did that by focusing on Roxas, on the feeling of his fingers smoothing through his hair, and for a few moments, everything was... okay.


Truth be told, that idea of curling up with Axel was becoming more and more appetising, especially due to the fact that he was becoming increasingly more sure that he wasn't asleep at all. His chest ached every time his mind flashed back to the events of the past few hours-- the look on Axel's face as he'd screamed at him that he wouldn't let him die, being all alone in the apartment, terrified and sobbing and hurting. Losing it at Axel over the communicator-- I guess I'll just die earlier than I thought was a terrible low blow, and every time he flashed back to it, it made his eyes sting in that now all too familiar way. Not only that, but catching sight of him after Sora brought him back... it all hurt. More than any physical wound ever could.

The pace at which he stroked Axel's hair picked up in speed as the pain in his chest increased, shoulders bunching together as he desperately tried to seek some kind of comfort. As though making himself smaller would help this, somehow. He wanted to speak, to see if he was really asleep or not, but the only small reassurance was that at least if he was awake, he didn't mind this. After a few more moments, though, he couldn't help himself, and he leaned down to press a kiss to his head.


And then those few moments of peace -- of solace -- ended, and everything came rushing back. Axel tensed, as if bracing himself for some sort of impact, and sucked in a quick breath, lips only parting a fraction of an inch. Guilt crept back into his chest, curling around his ribs and squeezing until it almost hurt to draw breath. Axel inhaled deeply, sharply, and when his chest ached with the pressure, he told himself that he deserved every bit of the pain, and he didn't resist. He held that breath until it burned, and then exhaled, trembling.

The increase in pace didn't go unnoticed by the redhead, and while it was a little bit relaxing, it was also a bit unsettling for reasons Axel couldn't really say, but he found himself shifting, reaching up to slide an arm around Roxas' middle, slow and hesitant in his movements, almost as if he was afraid he was going to be pushed away or that Roxas was going to yell at him for trying to offer some form of comfort.


He let out a shaky breath when he realised that Axel "sleeping" had all been a ruse after all-- but oh, how that comfort was appreciated. Not trusting himself to speak for the time being, he responded with actions instead. Slowing his pace down, he tangled his fingers in the other's hair, like always, and brushed his thumb over his forehead. "Hey," finally came his voice, the word soft and murmured. He sounded a bit raspy still, but he hadn't thought to take something for the pain, and he probably deserved it anyway.


That one, simple word broke him down and Axel opened his eyes half way, his arm winding tighter around Roxas, fingers gripping so hard at the back of his shirt that his knuckles turned white. It took him more than a few tries to get his tongue working and when he finally did, he had to wait for his throat to stop constricting and somehow work that sick feeling back down before he could say anything. And even then, he didn't say much.

"... hey," was about as far as he got, his voice tired and just as quiet as Roxas' if not quieter.


But that was okay with Roxas-- the fact that he wasn't angry and he wasn't yelling was enough of a comfort for now. One hand remained in his hair while the other rubbed gently at his back, trying to offer some kind of comfort to him in return. He wasn't sure what to say, but he knew what he needed and wanted to say. The first... well, he thought it might be beneficial to them both to get that done first.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered, grip on his friend tightening. "I'm so sorry."


Axel's eyes slipped closed with a heavy sigh. He'd been the one to lose his cool and burn a warehouse to the ground, and Roxas was apologizing. He almost laughed, and if he could find the strength to do anything but breathe, he probably would have, but breathing was hard enough as it was. His lungs burned and his throat hurt and every inhale sent a spike of pain straight into the center of his chest.

"Shut up," he muttered. His voice sounded terrible. Shouting and smoke combined had left it hoarse and and strained.


Roxas was the one that laughed in the end, but it sounded hollow, just like before. "I'm allowed to apologise if I want to." Because he did have a lot to apologise for, and even if Axel didn't want to hear it, it was important to him. "You sound like shit, by the way," he added on, and couldn't help a barely noticeable smile. "I guess that makes the two of us, huh?"


The emptiness of it made Axel cringe inwardly, thinking about the last time he'd heard Roxas laugh like that. It had been his fault, because in his own rashness, he'd acted like an asshole - Roxas had been right to call him one - and lashed out at the one person he didn't want to hurt. But that's how Axel worked. When he got angry, it would almost always consume him completely, and recklessness would take over. In his fit of rage, he'd said too many things. Things he didn't mean, but couldn't take back.

"... yeah, thanks," he croaked in reply to the comment concerning his voice, the corner of his mouth twitching a little in what was probably supposed to be some sort of an attempt to smile. Roxas' voice didn't sound too hot either, and Axel didn't really need to ask why. Probably for most of the same reasons his own voice had gone, and more that he didn't really want to consider or think about.

"Listen, I--...," he started, out of the blue. He tapered off for a moment, trying to piece together what he wanted to say, wetting his lips with his tongue before he continued in a much quieter tone. "I didn't mean..."


Hearing those three words-- I didn't mean-- made Roxas's chest constrict even more. He exhaled a shaky breath, trying to figure out how to respond to them, to put how he was feeling into words. Because it was unarguable, that he had been deeply hurt by Axel-- and even though he wasn't angry at the other anymore, he still felt sick and his heart hurt just thinking about some of the things that they'd said to one another. But he forced himself to put that all aside, once again putting himself in the other's shoes and considering what he might have done in the same position.

Much the same thing.

"Don't, Axel," he finally murmured. "You don't... need to apologise to me. I understand more than you probably think. I didn't mean any of it either. I was... just scared. And besides, you usually tend to do stupid things for the people you l--" he faltered on the last word, quickly replacing it with, "people you care about."


If Axel had been more focused, more collected and not utterly drained, he might have caught the slip, but it went unnoticed for now. His fingers loosened their hold on the back of Roxas' shirt and his let his hand slip away, leaving his arm loosely curled around the blond's middle. Subconsciously, he leaned his head into his friend's a bit, craving some other form of contact to confirm that Roxas was really there and that this wasn't some stupid dream his tired mind had worked up.

"Stop talking," he murmured, and it sounded a lot harsher than he intended. "You'll end up losing your voice..."


Quietly glad that he hadn't caught the slip, Roxas just laughed-- genuinely, for the first time in a long time-- at the voice comment. "That's the least of my worries right now," he murmured, moving his hand from Axel's back so that he could intertwine their fingers together. He just... wanted to hold him, properly, but this was good too. "Besides, I think people might be grateful for the silence if I did." Not mentioning that he thought he deserved it, he just smoothed back more of Axel's hair, sighing quietly.


Axel made no move to grip Roxas' hand any tighter than he had too, fingers limp at first. His friend's hand was warm in his own, rough with calluses and yet soft with youth. Suddenly, his fingers flexed, falling in between Roxas' and linking together, and he shifted his weight, pulling himself up and a little closer to Roxas' side, head still in his lap. Some part of him still felt like any minute Roxas was going to lose it and start yelling at him, shove him away and tell him to get out and find somewhere else to stay, and the thought had him a bit on edge, tense and ready to retaliate should the moment come.

"I dunno..." he said thoughtfully, voice raspy. He cleared his throat before he continued. "I might actually miss it."


Secretly, it made him pretty happy to hear that, but like he would actually ever admit that aloud. Instead, he curled the hand that wasn't holding Axel's hand around his shoulder, wishing there was some way to get him closer. "Only might?" he teased, stroking the back of Axel's hand with his thumb. He could barely believe how... calm he felt like this. After everything that had happened, all it took was a hand in his and a warm best friend in his lap to make him feel better. How typical. Though he was still worried for Axel, wishing there was some way to ease his pain.

"You'd better not lose yours either."


Axel actually managed something of a laugh, though it hardly sounded healthy and it only ended in a cough. Taking a deep breath, he slipped his hand out of Roxas' and leaned out of his grasp, pushing himself up into a sitting position. His entire body ached - especially his left shoulder - and the shifting of his weight was painful, but not so much that he couldn't handle it. Sitting up wasn't too comfortable, though, and he grimaced slightly.

"Nah... I just wouldn't be me if I couldn't make any smartass comments, now would I?" he answered with a bit of a lazy smirk. Besides, there were plenty of other things he would no doubt end up losing before he'd lose his voice, like sleep, and possibly, his mind, if he let this get the better of him.


"You'd probably find some way to be a smartass, even without your voice," he replied pointedly, shrugging a little. And it was true-- he really doubted such a small thing would bother him. Though that was the least of his concerns right now... he needed to figure out some way to get him to relax enough to sleep.

Roxas caught the grimace, and just rolled his eyes. "C'mere," he motioned, shifting his legs a little (and stretching them out at the same time; they were beginning to ache a little) so that Axel could lean against him properly. This way, he'd also be closer, probably more comfortable... and Roxas probably wouldn't let him go. But that was besides the point.


Roxas was probably right. If he couldn't make rude comments, then he'd probably make rude gestures, or hey, maybe he could just burn down another building to get his point across. Axel chuckled to himself, almost bitterly as the thought crossed his mind. In his opinion, it could have been so much worse. The moment he'd shouted what he'd seen at Roxas - hand around his throat, no less - he'd known that he needed to get out, go somewhere he could be alone before he lashed out any more than he already had and end up hurting anyone else... had he stayed, it could have been the apartment, and not the warehouse, to go down.

Pushing the thought from his mind, Axel did as he was told - for once - and moved to lean against Roxas, sitting himself comfortably between the boy's knees with his back pressed to Roxas' chest.


Grabbing one of the blankets from the bed just in case Axel was anywhere near as cold as he was, Roxas pulled it over him, then slid his arms around the other's waist and rested his hands on his stomach, holding him close. This was better-- more comfortable, too, though he hadn't minded their previous position before either. Just that hours of sitting the same way had made him a little sore. He tried to think of something to say, but instead ended up resting his chin on Axel's shoulder, eyes sliding shut in thought.

"Is this okay?" he finally decided on, not sure what else to say in fear of bringing up the past few hours again.


Axel settled back with a sigh, scooting down a little so that he could rest his head back against Roxas' shoulder, tried eyes focused on the ceiling. Admittedly, the added blankets were a little uncomfortable, but he could feel the coldness of Roxas' hands through his shirt as the came to rest against his stomach, and he wasn't about to deny his friend the warmth he obviously needed just because he was a little hot. Instead, he said nothing, and brought his hands up to cup them over Roxas', hoping to help warm them up, thumbs stroking at chilled skin.

He didn't answer right away when Roxas spoke, eyes still staring up at the ceiling, focused on nothing in particular. His gaze was blank and he parted his lips to inhale, wetting them with his tongue before he managed an answer.

"... yeah." Axel swallowed, mouth dry and throat tight. His fingers gripped a little more at Roxas' hands. "I'm sorry."


Small shivers ran down his spine as warm fingers closed over his, and he murmured a small 'thank you' in appreciation. Having such a warm body leaning against his would probably heat him up rather nicely, so there wouldn't be much need for the blanket after all. He'd probably end up shrugging it off within a few minutes, but for now, he tried to get as much heat out of it as he could.

He couldn't help but breathe a small sigh of relief at the confirmation, but it only took a few seconds for that expression to all too swiftly change. His eyes widened in surprise at the apology, and he subconsciously straightened up a little. "Axel..." he said, voice more pleading than he would have liked, "don't apologise. You don't have to."


"I had my hands around your throat, Roxas," he said, almost a little too quickly, just shy of cutting Roxas off. His hands trembled a little and he lifted them off of the blond's in hopes that maybe he hadn't noticed. It was hard enough admitting that he'd been wrong in what he'd done and what he'd said to Roxas, admitting that he'd been stupid, and he didn't need his friend knowing that his own actions had affected him this much. He was supposed to be the strong, careless fighter who never let anything get to him, and yet here he was feeling sick to his stomach for more reasons than he wanted to count.

"I put my hands on you when I shouldn't have, so don't tell me not to apologize."


Too little too late, because he had noticed, and was therefore quick to snatch his hands back, grasping them tightly in his own. "Stop it," he hissed sharply. "Do you think I hold it against you? Do you really? When we-- I was terrified, Axel. Not just because of my own death, but because of the effect it was having on you. It... it made me realise a lot of things. I'm not going to leave you. The future can be changed-- there's no guarantee that it's set in stone. And I won't let anything happen to you, either."

His own hands were shaking now, though his grip on Axel's didn't falter. "You can apologise if it makes you feel better, but you don't need to."


Nothing he did was going to make him feel better. He was so tired, physically and mentally, but he knew he wasn't going to sleep, and no matter how many times he apologized, that guilt wasn't going to go away, nor would the sick, twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach. Roxas knew nothing when it came to what he had seen-- all his friend knew was that he was going to die. Axel had kept the details to himself, because he couldn't bring himself to think about it. The sickening sound of bones snapping and blood spattering was enough to make his face turn a few shades paler than it already was.

The future can be changed.

Axel almost laughed, but he had the decency - imagine that - not to.


Roxas merely sighed, wondering what else he could possibly say. He was honestly at a loss for what to do-- he wanted nothing more than to help, but it seemed like his words weren't getting through to Axel. "I'm sorry," was all that he ended up whispering again, the shaking steadily getting worse. If he wasn't so exhausted, he'd be feeling a lot more angry at himself for being so helpless against this. "I'm not gonna let anything bad happen. I promise."


The shaking of Roxas' hands was beginning to concern him and he gave his fingers a light squeeze before moving suddenly. He let go of Roxas' hands, mustering a bit of strength and climbing over his knees so that he could sit next to him, back pressed up against the headboard. Their earlier position didn't seem right. Axel parted his knees and patted the space between them, offering the seat to the younger boy.

"Come here."


It didn't take much to convince him. Taking a deep breath, he carefully climbed over his leg to settle between them, feeling a strange sense of deja vu as he snuggled up against him, head resting against his chest. He hadn't thought that he would be the one needing the comforting, but as he gently curled his fingers in Axel's shirt, he found himself murmuring another quiet 'thank you' for the comfort.


Axel wound his arms around Roxas, pulling him a little closer so that he could lean his chin against the top of his friend's head, nose buried in blond spikes. He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly, a little more relaxed now that he was holding onto Roxas and not the reverse.


As much as he didn't mind holding Axel, it felt... more natural to be here, in his arms instead of the other way around. Probably because he'd never had the chance before-- it had automatically been like this from the beginning. And he wouldn't have it any other way. After a few moments of nothing more than lying there listening to him breathe and the beating of his heart, he lifted his head a little so that he could watch him properly. How tired Axel looked up close made Roxas wince, but thankfully, he hadn't expected any different.

The shaking had stopped, at least, which he was more than grateful for.


Axel tipped his head back to let Roxas move, glancing down briefly to make sure he was okay, and when he was certain that Roxas was fine - at least physically - he leaned his head back against the wall, eyes blank and half-lidded. For a while, he was silent, rubbing Roxas' shoulder in what he intended to be a comforting, relaxing gesture. When he finally decided to speak, though, he looked down at his friend.

"... stay off the roof, okay?"


The roof? Why would he ask him to stay off the roof...? It took Roxas a few seconds to figure out one of the possibilities, and when he did, his face completely drained of colour. He hid his face in the crook of Axel's neck, hoping that he wouldn't notice, seemingly otherwise preoccupied as he was. A few moments later, he realised that he'd probably want an answer and so he nodded, trying to keep his voice steady.

"I will. I promise."


Axel pushed his fingers through Roxas' hair and leaned back down to press his nose into blond locks, murmuring quietly.

"You'll be fine," he told him, but whether he was trying to reassure Roxas or himself was hard to tell.


"I know. I'll make sure of it," was his only response at first, his voice low and strained. Moving his arms so they could wrap around Axel's waist, he attempted to relax a little more.

"I told you before-- I'm not going anywhere." And if the mere thought of my death does this, then what would the real thing do? he added to himself in his mind. "M'not gonna let anything happen to you either."


Axel smiled little, though it was a bit lopsided and partially forced as he raked his fingers through Roxas' hair again.

"... I thought I told you to stop talking."


Roxas couldn't help but laugh a little at that, nuzzling against his neck. "Yeah, I haven't forgotten. But you can't really stop me, can you?" he challenged.


Chuckling - well, it was supposed to be a chuckle, but it came out as more of a scratchy sigh - Axel reached down and cupped his jaw, tipping his head up so that he could kiss him, just briefly, before pulling away.

"Shut up," he smiled.


Roxas leaned up and into that kiss gratefully, though he didn't push it further. He was a little disappointed when Axel pulled back, but he hadn't expected anything less. They were hardly in the right state of mind for it, no matter how much he wished it otherwise. Being held like this was good enough, besides.

"Only if you do that more often," he mumbled, the smallest of smiles on his lips too.


Axel patted his cheek and hummed. "...Maybe, after you get some sleep."


"I'm not sleeping unless you do," he said stubbornly, smile quickly turning into a frown.


He hesitated, well aware that he wasn't going to be able to sleep.

"A-alright... fine." ... but he was willing to fake it for Roxas' sake.


It was obvious that Roxas wasn't at all convinced, and the frown on his face just deepened. "You're not really going to, are you?" he said wearily, leaning forward so that he could rest his forehead against Axel's. "If I have to go down to the clinic to get some sleeping pills, I will." Not to mention that he was a terrible faker anyway, as proved by the few hours beforehand, but that was the least of his worries.


"I'm not taking any pills," he said flatly, leaving not room for argument. Axel wasn't about to be forced into sleeping when he really didn't want to sleep in the first place despite his body and his mind's protest. Sleeping meant that he wouldn't be able to keep an eye on Roxas and the last thing he wanted was for something to happen that he couldn't prevent because he was tired.


"I'll make you if I have to," he said bluntly, not prepared to lose this soon. At this rate, Axel was going to run himself right into the ground, and then he'd be the one putting himself in danger. "We can go to sleep together," he said pointedly, "and the only one who can get in here is Sora. Nothing's going to happen if you close your eyes for a little while. Even if you only get a little bit, I want you to at least let me try."


But Axel wasn't budging. Roxas was fighting for a lost cause.

"I'll sleep when I'm tired, damn it," he snapped, and then sighed, because Roxas didn't deserve the attitude.


"You look tired to me," he pointed out, though the attitude had caused him to wonder if badgering him about it was a good idea right now. As concerned as he was, he was also becoming increasingly exhausted himself, and he probably couldn't hold it up much longer, no matter how much he wanted to.


Axel pressed his fingertips against his eyelids with a heavy sigh, biting at the inside of his cheek, and as he sighed, he let his hands slide down his face.

"... look, I'll try, okay? But I'm not making any promises."


It was a good enough start for Roxas, and while he knew that Axel probably wouldn't get any no matter how hard he tried, he was too exhausted to press the matter any further. So he simply nodded, peeling the other's hands away from his face so he could press a light kiss to his forehead.

"Okay. C'mon, then. Blankets or not?"


"Whatever you want," he muttered, shifting. "I've got to change out of these clothes."

He still reeked of smoke.


Somehow a surprisingly easy detail to forget, despite being curled up against him for several hours. "I think I can do without them. Go get dressed-- maybe a shower'd help too," he murmured, shifting back a little to give him some space. This was perfect... if Axel was out of the room, even if only for a minute...


A shower would probably do him a lot of good. Axel nodded, sliding his hands out of Roxas' so he could get up.

"Yeah... I'll be quick," he said, and moved to grab some fresh clothes before heading into the bathroom.


He waited a few moments until he heard the water turn on-- that way, when he opened up his portal to the clinic, Axel shouldn't be able to hear him from there. Shaking his head, half disbelieving that he was trying to pull something like this, he ducked through the portal, taking the pills and returning within a mere few minutes. Roxas just hoped that his plan wouldn't be revealed until it was too late; being quick happened to be his friend's speciality, after all.


Lucky for Roxas, the water shut off a few seconds after he got back, and a minute or two later, Axel emerged from the bathroom, clean and smelling much nicer than he had a few minutes before, crimson spikes damp and dropping and sticking to the sides of his neck.


As soon as he heard the water shut off, he quickly removed one of the pills from its packet, and slipped it into his mouth, not swallowing it, however. The rest were jammed into his pocket, and not a moment too soon, because Axel was done a lot faster than he'd anticipated.

"Feeling better?" he asked as best he could with a pill still in his mouth, kicking off his shoes as he tried to sit comfortably on the bed.


"Mm," he grunted in reply, pulling his shirt on over his head before moving to more or less collapse into bed with a long, heavy sigh.


The lack of co-operation from Axel just made his job all the more difficult and made him sigh, but at least he was close enough so that Roxas could move quickly. He wasted no time in climbing over Axel's legs so that he could straddle his lap just like he had the other day, immediately leaning down to kiss him, grabbing his shoulders so that he could pin him down if he tried to escape.


Admittedly, it took Axel by surprise but he was quick to respond, almost desperate as his hands fisted in the front of Roxas' shirt, pulling him closer, oblivious to the blond's plans.


As reluctant as he was to break it off so soon, the pill would end up dissolving if he kept it in his mouth any longer. Despite the small, needy noise that escaped his throat, he knew he'd have to act sooner or later, and as he slid his tongue into Axel's mouth, he let the pill go with it. So he wouldn't try and cough it up, he broke the kiss, and immediately grabbed him by the chin and closed his mouth. He wouldn't know what hit him, hopefully, until it was too late.


Axel tipped his chin up just slightly, eyes closing half-way as he sucked in a breath through his nose, tongue flicking against Roxas' and--

And then it was over all too soon and Roxas was pulling back. Axel loosened his hold on the front of his shirt and stared up at Roxas with a slightly concerned expression, swallowing-- and his eyes narrowed as it dawned on him what Roxas had done, expression far from amused.

"..."


"I told you," he said simply, fully expecting to be yelled at for his stunt. Now he realised that he was in an entirely too vulnerable position for his own liking, but it was a small price to pay. This at least guaranteed that Axel would get some rest, and he wondered if he should take one for himself. Maybe after it seemed like his world wasn't going to end.


Axel had let his guard down for two seconds, welcoming the distraction from everything else that was going on, and Roxas had tricked him. How he'd managed to let it slip, he'd never know, but now that Roxas had done it, Axel wouldn't fall for the same sort of trick a second time. The Flurry looked away, clenching his teeth for a moment.

"... that was low."


He felt bad about it, there was no denying that, but Axel needed the sleep. And if that was the only way to get him to do it, well... it was worth whatever he'd get in return from him. "I'm sorry," he winced, feeling genuinely sorry for tricking him like that. It was a bad thing to trick him with, of all things to try, but it was the only plan that he'd had. "I want you to get some sleep. If you're mad at me for that, well..." Roxas sighed. "I'll manage."


"You're lucky I like you," he grumbled, shooting Roxas a half glare. There was no use in getting angry about it; what was done was done and there was nothing he could do about it, no matter how frustrating it was.


Not that he knew how he managed it, but he just smiled at the comment. "Does this mean I get to give you a proper kiss goodnight now?" Roxas smirked, probably pushing it by now... but quietly he was just glad that he wasn't that angry.


He raised his brows, pausing for a few moments before he answered, hands unconsciously settling against Roxas' thighs. "... I'm not sure you deserve it after that little stunt."

If Roxas looked hard enough, he might have been able to catch a tiny twitch of his lips as he suppressed a tired smirk.


"You know you'll give in, regardless," he shrugged, wearing his little triumphant grin quite smugly. "C'mon, I know you won't regret it."


"Sneaky little shit," he muttered under his breath, but he managed to muster up something of a smile and leaned up to press a single, quick kiss to Roxas' lips.


Laughing, he returned the kiss despite its small duration, quietly glad it didn't last too much longer due to the yawn that soon followed. "Mm, that'll do me. Now can we get some sleep? The pills will be kicking in any second now."


Axel yawned right after despite his efforts not to, fingers tapping against one of Roxas' legs. As if on cue, a wave of drowsiness overtook him, muscles relaxing considerably. "... you sleepin' here, or...?"

After all Roxas was still in his lap.


... he'd almost forgotten about that, surprisingly enough. "Would you hold it against me if I did?" he murmured, still wearing that triumphant look. It was pretty comfortable, after all. But he probably wouldn't-- it wouldn't be all that comfortable for Axel.


His eyelids started to droop and as much as he tried to fight it, it just wasn't happening. "...s'fine," he murmured, fumbling to link his hands together around Roxas.


"Okay," he whispered, and snuggled against Axel, closing his eyes. He hadn't taken a pill himself, but he was exhausted enough to be able to sleep pretty well at this rate. "Sleep well."


"...tch," he laughed, because it was almost ironic. With that little strength he had left, he scooted down a little, smoothing his hands down Roxas' back until they came to rest at the dip of his spine. "You too," he added, and hoped that his sleep would be soundless and not plagued with nightmares.


"Hey, you can't sleep too badly with someone in your lap, can you?" he teased, nuzzling into him just a bit more so he could get comfortable. Roxas was half considering sleeping like this all the time at this point, but he doubted that Axel would be half as agreeable to it when he'd actually gotten some sleep. "Heh, I will. I've got the best pillow in the world, after all."


He'd awoken sometime in the middle of the night - very early morning, perhaps - with a start, sucking in a sharp breath, eyes flying open. It took him less than a second to realize that the weight that'd been on his chest when he'd fallen asleep was no longer there. Roxas was gone. It wasn't just a dream, Roxas was gone and everything he'd been worried about had come true. Roxas was dea--

"No," his hissed under his breath, sitting up quickly, eyes trying to focus in the darkness, only to realize that Roxas wasn't gone at all, but that he had moved sometime in the night to lie by Axel instead of on him. The tightness in his chest subsided and he let out a heavy sigh, shoulders slumping dramatically and he pressed his face into his palms. The adrenaline pumping through his veins was enough to have him on edge. The Flurry swallowed, letting his hands slide from his face and down into his lap as he looked over at the blond, sound asleep and perfectly unharmed. Roxas was okay, but all he could see was blood and cracked ribs and his neck twisted at an angle that was almost sickening.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Axel settled his weight between Roxas' legs, stretched out on his stomach. Trembling hands hesitated as they reached out, and then carefully, gingerly pushed the hem of Roxas' shirt up to his navel, and then higher still, stopping just short of his pectorals. The redhead swallowed again, eyes flickering up to make sure Roxas was still asleep before tracing warm fingertips feather-light over each and every one of his ribs, needing some form of physical assurance that Roxas was really okay, and that it had been just a dream.


Rolling out of Axel's lap and onto the bed beside him had never been a part of Roxas's plan, which is why when he finally returned to consciousness, sometime shortly after Axel, he panicked a little. But only for a short time-- it didn't take him long to realise what had happened, even without opening his eyes, and now there were warm fingers tracing along his skin. Trying his best not to give himself away, he relaxed against those fingers, wishing he could just curl up against the body above him and go back to sleep. He was still so tired; it only seemed like a couple of minutes since he'd fallen asleep in Axel's lap, and he wished he hadn't woken up too soon. But it was okay.

Sadly for him, he couldn't keep up the façade of sleep as well as his counterpart, and he was soon opening his eyes, moving his hand so that he could take one of Axel's in his and link their fingers. "Can't sleep?" he murmured, weary gaze lingering on his face.


Axel's eyes flickered up again at the first sign of movement, hoping that he hadn't woken Roxas up, but green eyes met blue and there was no such luck. The fingers of his free hand continued their careful ministrations, smoothing and gliding over each bone, and it was then that the thought crossed his mind that Roxas was too thin.

"Bad dream," he uttered, more to himself, and then tugged Roxas' shirt back down, satisfied that none of his ribs were broken and cracked, but not completely satisfied that he wasn't hurt at all. Axel moved closer, extending his hand to run warm fingers down along the side of Roxas' neck, taking his chin carefully between his fingers and turning his head to the side, as if checking for any kind of mark or discoloration, not even thinking to try and explain his strange behavior.


Technically he hadn't been woken up by Axel at all, but it hadn't even crossed his mind to try and tell him that. He was too tired to even question what the other was doing; it was strangely comforting, and that was reason enough for him. Though a concerned look flitted across his face as he heard Axel's answer to his question.

"You too, huh?" he murmured quietly, letting go of Axel's hand so that he could loosely wind his arms around his waist instead. "M'just glad that you got some sleep in the end." Even if he'd had to make him by force... which he still wasn't that proud of.


No bruising. Nothing. Roxas was perfectly fine, and there was no need for him to worry. Axel sighed, leaning his head against Roxas' shoulder, eyes narrowing just slightly.

"... yeah," he muttered, lips gracing the side of the boy's neck with every syllable. "Don't think I forgot about that little stunt you pulled."


"I haven't forgotten either," he said sheepishly, rubbing Axel's back gently. "I'm still really sorry. But at least it got you a few hour's sleep, right...?" Not to mention he looked a lot better than he did last night. And the kiss had been a welcome distraction, no matter how short it had been.


"A few too many," he grumbled under his breath. He appreciated the fact that Roxas had only been trying to look out for him, but what he'd hoped would be a peaceful sleep had turned out to be full of nightmares and images he'd rather not have seen again at all. Physically, he felt a little better, but mentally he was still just as tired as he had been before.

"... didn't mean to wake you," he breathed, nuzzling his nose against his throat a bit. "You should get a little more sleep. S'not even morning yet."


"You look a lot better for it, anyway," he murmured, falling back into his usual habit of running his fingers though Axel's hair. It was a start, at least, even if he knew he couldn't really help with the mental exhaustion. Attempting to sleep at all had probably been a bad idea for the both of them, no matter how tired they were. No amount of sleep would ever be enough.

"You didn't wake me up, don't worry about that," he whispered in return. "I'll get some more sleep later. I don't need any right now."


Axel inhaled slowly, pressing a light, lingering kiss to the pulse point in his neck. "Seems a little unfair to me..."

But since when did he ever play fair?


Laughing softly, he just shrugged. "I'm sure you'll find some way to even the odds." It was Axel they were talking about, after all. He always had something up his sleeve.


"Maybe," he said in a way that suggested that he planned to get his revenge one way or another.

And then suddenly, there were teeth nipping at Roxas' collar bone.


Roxas didn't trust this "maybe," and he was about to say as much, but instead Axel got a small noise of surprise for his trouble. In retaliation, he threaded all of his fingers in Axel's hair, and tugged.


"Nngh," he grunted, clenching his teeth. This was supposed to work in his favor, not Roxas', and he certainly wasn't going to get anywhere fast if Roxas kept doing that. Not anywhere in the direction he'd intended at any rate.

Tipping his head back with the pull of his hair left Axel's mouth dangerously close to Roxas' ear and he whispered. "I wouldn't, if I were you... "

... and then caught his earlobe between his teeth.


"That's the difference between you and me, then," Roxas breathed, snickering softly as he tugged at his locks again. "I think I might just keep doing it. You don't seem to mind that much, anyway." And he knew he was right-- though he didn't know the full extent of how much it affected him, the small amount that he did show was enough.

Funny how in the next moment, though, Axel had him right where he wanted him and he hissed at the sensation. If this was revenge, well... it was pretty damn good so far.


Lightly, he applied just a little bit of pressure before soothing the bite with his tongue, his hands creeping up along Roxas' sides and pushing up underneath his shirt. Warm palms pressed against soft skin and Axel let his hands wander, mapping out the dips and curves each one of his muscles created. He tried his hardest to ignore the fingers in his hair and the shiver that shot down his spine when Roxas pulled, focusing his attention elsewhere-- like that spot just below and slightly behind Roxas' ear.

Humming low and deep, Axel pressed his lips to the spot, tongue flicking out to taste, all experimental.


Of course, whenever Axel did something like that-- something that sent shivers down his own spine, and had him arching upwards a little so that he could get more of it-- his obvious response was to play with his hair some more. While the other had him right where he wanted him, Roxas experimented with his hair. It was obvious when the effect of Axel's ministrations were greater, though, because every single time, Roxas kept faltering. He couldn't help but groan slightly at the new sensation-- not that he'd ever admit it but it felt pretty good.


Axel's fingers flexed against his sides, trying his hardest to swallow down a groan of his own, but to no avail, humming against the column of Roxas' neck. He shifted up to his knees, removing his hands to brace them on either side of the blond, and craned his neck, shoulders flexing as he leaned down to continue his ministrations. Axel made his way along the curve of Roxas' jaw, taking his time and lingering for as long as he could, making a point of coming dangerously close to Roxas' mouth, but never quiet close enough.


Finally, finally Roxas found his voice, after a few moments of silent torture and teasing. "D-don't tease," he groaned, gripping at him even tighter. If this was revenge for what he'd done last night, well... Axel had definitely one upped him. He couldn't tell if this was all just revenge, or something else, but either way-- he didn't mind as much as he'd protested. Cursing under his breath due to the fact he couldn't get any closer, he retaliated by tugging Axel closer to him.


Axel chuckled, deep and low and something about it wasn't right. His eyes narrowed and his lips twisted into a grin.

"Whatever you say," he replied and then suddenly pulled back, moving off of Roxas and stretching out on the other side of the bed as if nothing had happened.


... nothing he could think of to say would combat the sheer frustration that Roxas was now feeling. He opened his mouth to attempt to say something, but no matter how hard he tried, he just ended up looking like a goldfish. His only retaliation was to sit up and throw his pillow at Axel's head.

"You're a huge jerk," he grumbled, and curled up by himself. His previously content mood had been all too quick to vanish for his liking.


Axel wrinkled his nose and then crammed the pillow under his head, stretching out and crossing his arms behind his head, a smug smirk on his face.

"Roxas, that's old news. Tell me something I don't know."


Now pillowless and warmthless, Roxas was less than amused. If this was revenge, then it sucked. Was revenge really a dish best served (literally) cold? If he didn't know better, he'd call Axel heartless, too.

"Well, I already told you that you were an asshole... huh. I can't think of anything else."


"Huh," Axel mused, trying to refocus his eyes in the darkness. Despite the fact that he hadn't really wanted to stop, he'd needed to get Roxas back for what he'd pulled only a couple hours before, and if there was any way to pay him back, this was it.

"... let me know when you think of something."


"I will," he huffed, trying to suppress his shivers from the cold. "But until then, I want my pillow back. Don't make me come over there." Because despite the mood he was in, he probably wouldn't leave with just a pillow. Even if he didn't want to admit it, least of all to Axel, it was pretty good revenge in the end. Far better than his own plan, even.


"Nuh uh," he chuckled, turning his head to look at him. "You can't throw something at someone and then expect to get it back. That's not how it works."

Just to be even more of an ass, he made a big display of fluffing the pillow before laying his head back down.


Fuming, Roxas snapped out of it straight away, and sat up. He wasn't going to take this mocking any longer-- Axel wasn't going to be allowed to win. This competition wasn't over until he said it was. He wasted no time in repeating the all too familiar actions of climbing over his legs and straddling his lap, glaring furiously down at him.

"Are you sure you aren't going to give it back to me?" he asked, sweet tone of voice completely betraying his true intentions.


Axel grinned lazily, not at all surprised by Roxas' reaction. He'd almost been expecting it really, because he knew Roxas, and he knew that he could be stubborn at times, especially when it came to winning some sort of argument or fight.

"Positive."


Sighing, Roxas put his hands on Axel's shoulders, effectively pinning him where he was. "Have it your way, then," he shrugged, and leaned down to kiss him. It would have been easier to just rob him of the pillow and go, but where was the fun in that?


"Just as--," he began, but the last word was claimed by Roxas' lips, and he never finished. He smiled against Roxas' mouth, satisfied with his small victory, and slid his hands up along Roxas' thighs until they came to rest comfortably at his hips.


In some ways, it was a victory and a loss for the both of them, but at the moment, winning was insignificant. Right now, he was happily preoccupied with the kiss, and also silently grateful for the warmth-- it was easy to forget how cold it was when you didn't have your human heater near you. A little impatient, he was quick to deepen the kiss, tongue sliding into Axel's mouth as his grip on his shoulders also tightened. For once, this time, there were no tricks up his sleeve.


Axel knew Roxas knew better than to try the same trick twice, so he expected nothing, responding with almost as much impatience as the blond, fingers gripping and then relaxing. His lips parted to give Roxas better access, his own tongue curling and pressing against the other's.


Now this was more to his liking. And this time, he didn't have to break it off either, which was another plus. He wasn't worried about sleep, or nightmares, or anything like that for the time being-- all that mattered was this. Making a small, contented noise, he shifted a little in Axel's lap so that they could make themselves more comfortable, responding to the kiss in earnest. Reluctantly, he shifted one hand to the headboard, so that the other wasn't bearing all of his weight.


Despite his impatience, Axel was in no real rush and he took things slowly, wanting to enjoy it while he could. He wanted to experience every reaction and feel every sensation to it's very end, and rushing things only mixed everything together into one indistinguishable feeling. Like before, his hands found their way under Roxas' shirt, touching tentatively as skin hidden away from his view, palms sliding around to the blond's back so that he could run his fingertips up along the other's spine.


It was still pretty early in the morning, and there was no worry of interruption. That, coupled with the fact that he knew neither of them would be going anywhere any time soon made him take his time. Every sensation was still pretty new to him, and so he wanted to savour every moment of it. Roxas made a small, encouraging noise in the back of his throat, enjoying the feeling of fingers brushing against his spine. Slowly, the hand that was still on Axel's shoulder moved down to the hem of his shirt this time-- he wanted to give it a go himself-- gingerly sliding his fingers underneath and brushing against the skin of his stomach.


Axel inhaled sharply through his nose, sucking his stomach in at the touch of Roxas' fingers, a reaction he couldn't quiet help. He forced himself to relax, though, trailing his fingers back down Roxas' spine, kneading gently once he reached the small of his back. His other hand made its way up along Roxas' side, only as high as Roxas' shirt would let him before it would start to pull to tightly against his arm.